


Antici... pation

by hal9



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: During Canon, Edging, M/M, Massage, Post-Canon, Power Bottom Squip, Practice Kissing, artificial-love fill, originally written for the kink meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 06:04:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18360119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hal9/pseuds/hal9
Summary: “With me, you can do anything,” and he sounds so intense and so pleased with himself that Jeremy finds himself believing him, leaning in. For a second he thinks he’s going to be kissed, but then the Squip lets go. “I can change shape in order to make this easier for you.”“You look g-, I mean, you don’t have to change, that would be, uh, weird,” Jeremy says, as if looking like someone else was the strangest part of ‘practicing’ with the supercomputer in his head.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First and second chapters originally written fort the Artificial Love JereSquip anon kink meme on dreamwidth, edited afterwards. 
> 
> The prompt was: _"For someone who's intent on making sure Jeremy never ever comes without a partner, the SQUIP is awfully deliberate about driving Jeremy right to the edge of orgasm and stopping. Whether it's through physical touch, simulated touch, or the SQUIP describing hot fantasies before interrupting Jeremy, Jeremy keeps getting blue balls."_

 

“I can tell you what to do when you’re with her, but it would help if you didn’t look like a deer caught in headlights every time she touches you. My suggestion is we give it some practice.”  
  
The Squip’s been explaining how he should take more initiative with Brooke this week instead of just letting her drag him around, the he should show her how interested he is in her and that, if he does well, there’s a good chance he will actually get laid, which would be good for their goal. Jeremy’s been looking at his knees nervously the entire time.  
  
“Right.”  
  
“Pretend I’m Brooke,” the Squip says as he joins him, sitting in bed. “We’re in that place she likes behind the school, alone, you’re the one who made the suggestion. You’ve also offered to tutor her Algebra. She’s a bit worried about her grades too since she didn’t do too well in that last test, it's so nice of you to do this! It means you care and want to spend more time with her.”  
  
“But I suck at Algebra.”  
  
“Not with me, Jeremy,” he grabs Jeremy’s chin, bringing him closer, voice dropping lower. “With me, you can do _anything_ ,” and he sounds so intense and so pleased with himself that Jeremy finds himself believing him, leaning in. For a second he thinks he’s going to be kissed, but then the Squip lets go. “I can change shape in order to make this easier for you.”  
  
“You look g-, I mean, you don’t have to change, that would be, uh, weird,” Jeremy says, as if looking like someone else was the strangest part of ‘practicing’ with the supercomputer in his head.  
  
“Very well then, we’ll go with your imagination,” he says and he moves closer, fingers brushing Jeremy’s. Soon their knees are touching too. They stay like that for a bit, the Squip pretending to be shy and Jeremy just staring straight ahead, starting to feel nervous again, not quite sure what’s expected of him.  Wasn’t the Squip supposed to tell him how to act? “Kiss me, Jeremy.”  
  
“What?” he yelps.  
  
“We're working on you taking action and not jumping at everything. Don’t have her make the first move all the time.” Right, he’s pretending to be Brooke, who Jeremy is sort of dating at the moment, somehow, while he likes someone else and is also having inappropriate thoughts about yet another person, who isn’t even an actual person. Nothing weird or wrong about this situation. He finally turns to the Squip, who’s smiling pleasantly at him for once, and he leans in, giving him a quick peck on the lips. He can feel his cheeks getting warm and he must be looking really stupid, but the Squip doesn’t reproach him, instead he cups his face and brings him closer for a longer kiss. He softly bites Jeremy’s lower lip, licking it afterwards. “Something more like this. Now you do it.”  
  
Jeremy tries to copy his movements, opens his mouth a little, and then the Squip’s tongue is on his, he tastes kind of minty, it feels nice. He still can’t believe the Squip is actually doing this.

“That’s better,” he says after pulling away, voice practically a purr in Jeremy’s ear. He’s so close that Jeremy’s scared to look him at him directly, looking instead at his hand trailing up his thigh. He can feel his heart beating faster.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to change?”  
  
“P-positive.”  
  
The Squip then moves to his lap, straddling him. “Do not stutter. Put your hands on my waist,” he orders and when Jeremy does, he rolls his hips, which makes Jeremy grasp his shirt in a sudden movement and give a weird little whimper. Just how far is the Squip planning to take this? Not that he’s complaining, but. “See, you can’t have those reactions, it’s very much not chill.” Jeremy blushes harder and looks away but the Squip touches his chin and makes Jeremy face him again, a touch so light it makes his skin tingle. “Relax, Jeremy. Take a breath and close your eyes.”  
  
Jeremy doesn’t know what to think about any of this, so he tries not to think at all. He just does as he’s told and waits. He’s aware of the Squip’s weight in his lap, of his hands rubbing his shoulders, and then he’s aware of his lips on his jaw. It’s a soft kiss, and Jeremy turns his head to give him better access, moving his hands to the supercomputer’s hips, squeezing a bit.  
  
“That’s it,” the Squip whispers soothingly, between more kisses and bites on his neck, “you can touch me under my shirt now.”  
  
His skin feels soft and warm under Jeremy’s hands, it’s amazing how real it feels, and he caresses his sides, his back, pulling him in. The Squip licks his ear and it sends a shiver down his spine, but Jeremy doesn’t make any weird noises this time, which seems to please him. The Squip kisses his face some more and moves his hands to Jeremy’s chest, moving in circles, playing a little with his nipples over his shirt, and Jeremy can’t contain a small moan, he didn’t know that felt so good… He flutters his eyes open and the Squip’s face is so near… Jeremy wants to close the distance, but he’s suddenly pushed to lie down in the bed. The Squip rolls his hips once more and Jeremy gasps, thrusting a little, eagerly waiting for his next touch.  
  
“You’ve succeeded in relaxing, but you still need to be more active, Jeremy,” the Squip says. Jeremy just looks up at him expectantly, so he continues, “You’re letting me do all the work. You have to show your partner that you care. Show that you want them.”  
  
Jeremy grabs his wrist and pulls him towards him. This doesn’t seem to impress him much though, so he takes hold of his waist instead and rolls them over so he’s the one on top. He kisses him, a bit rough. The Squip hums in approval and so Jeremy keeps going, grinding against him. When he feels the Squip’s leg between his own, rubbing against him just right, he groans harder and grabs his wrists to pin him against the bed. “I want you.”  
  
“Good boy,” the Squip murmurs, an amused smile playing in his lips, and that’s just the cherry on top of everything, if he wasn’t completely hard before he certainly is now. The Squip’s looking so hot under him, Jeremy wants more, so he leans down to kiss him and --  
  
“Alright, now get off me.”  
  
“Huh?” Jeremy stops mid movement and just stares at the Squip for a bit. “D-did I do something wrong?”  
  
“No, you did well,” the Squip says, sounding completely unaffected now, nothing like that beautiful husky voice he had only a moment ago. Jeremy’s still not moving, so he pushes him away, getting up in the process and straightening his clothes. “Which means we’ve accomplished the goal of this practice session. There’s no need to prolong it any further.”  
  
“I. I thought we were… going to…”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Oh. O-okay...” Jeremy says, feeling a bit stupid and disappointed, but still very horny. “I’ll just… finish by myself then.” He turns around a little so he’s not looking at the Squip anymore (he might live in his mind but he doesn’t need to see). He shouldn’t have expected him to actually go through with it, but it’s not that bad, he’s been without jerking off for so long that his own hand is going to feel amazing, and he’s about to unzip his jeans when the Squip speaks again.  
  
“Jeremy, what did we say about masturbation?”  
  
“What? But. You’re the one who got me like this.”  
  
“And?” Jeremy stares at him in disbelief. He can’t serious, can he? The Squip crosses his arms and raises one eyebrow. “I’m very serious.”  
  
“Do you like. Get off on me not getting off?”  
  
“Of course not. I’m a computer, Jeremy, I do not feel things and therefore I do not ‘get off’. I simply wish for you to learn to control your body so you can come during appropriate situations at the appropriate time. Masturbation and premature ejaculation are not sexy.”  
  
What the fuck. That’s just stupid and unfair. Jeremy turns away again, puts his hand between his legs, but before he can touch himself, he feels a light electric shock in his hand. “Oh, come on!” He turns back to the Squip and the bastard’s actually smiling at him.  
  
“Life’s unfair, Jeremy. Count yourself lucky you’ve got a cheat code.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, erotic massages and someone is in denial (also for the kink meme).

“Get up Jeremy, it’s time to write that essay.”  
  
“Later...“ Jeremy whines, lying flat on his stomach in bed, a position from which he has not moved an inch for the last twenty minutes. Earlier that afternoon, the Squip had announced the amount of push-ups Jeremy’s been doing instead of masturbating is not enough after all, and decided on a particularly terrible workout session that’d left Jeremy absolutely crushed.  
  
“Success takes time and work, but you will achieve it, Jeremy. Look how well you’ve been doing with Brooke,” the Squip says, sounding pleased even, which is rare, but Jeremy just groans in response.  
  
He doesn’t really… want to be with Brooke. Which is ridiculous, he knows, Brooke is really nice and really hot, and actually likes him (or likes what the Squip makes of him in any case), but the whole point of getting a squip in the first place was to get Christine, and that doesn’t seem to be happening any time soon. It's true that he actually gets to talk to her now instead of making a fool of himself whenever he tries to or only stare from a distance, but being close during play rehearsal also has the downside of being able to notice her eyes lighting up whenever Jake is nearby, which is _not_ an improvement. What if Christine never likes him? What if this is all for nothing? What if-  
  
“She _will_ like you, Jeremy.” He sounds almost offended for a moment but quickly makes his voice take a more reassuring and pleasant tone. “Christine is… admittedly harder to figure out than I was expecting, but I assure you we will reach your goal. Trust me.”  
  
Jeremy feels like the furthest he’ll ever get is the floor, if he ever manages enough energy to roll down from bed.  
  
“You’re so dramatic sometimes,” the Squip sighs. Jeremy just mentally throws a _whatever_ at him. Seconds later, he feels the Squip’s hand in his back, pressing down between his shoulder blades, and then up and down again. It’s not unpleasant.  
  
“Take off your shirt.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“The massage will feel better that way. Technically, I could make it feel exactly the same while you’re dressed, but it might be confusing for you.”  
  
He’s going to give him a massage? That’s… unexpected and unprecedented, but… nice, actually, he could really use one. Jeremy forces himself to move and do as he was told and then returns to his original position, lying on his belly, arms down by his sides. He expects hands on him again, but the first thing that happens is the Squip sitting on his lower back, straddling him, and Jeremy lets out a surprised “ah!”.  
  
“This is a perfectly normal stance for a massage, Jeremy.” Both his hands are on Jeremy's shoulders now, rubbing them in circular movements. “It allows your partner to apply more pressure and achieve much more symmetry of movements than if they sit or stand on one side.”  
  
“I, I was not complaining… “ Jeremy says, trying not to dwell on the use of the word partner, remembering how last time he’d been his ‘partner’ had ended. It’s blissfully easy for his mind go blank though, with the wonderful way the Squip is taking care of his back.  
  
The touches grow gradually heavier, the Squip using the base of his hands for stronger pressure and his fingertips to move in small circular movements, starting on his shoulders and going down to his waist and sides, slowly squeezing and releasing, and Jeremy can’t help but moan at how good it feels. The Squip gives a similar treatment to his arms, slowly kneading the soreness away. This has to be one of the greatest advantages of having a squip, it knows exactly where it hurts and just the right pressure to apply, it’s perfect…  
  
At some point the Squip moves the massage much lower than Jeremy was expecting, and he’s not sure how to feel about it. Or, better, he does know how he feels about it, he’s just not sure that he’s supposed to. “You’re, hm. You’re groping my ass.”  
  
“Don’t be vulgar, Jeremy, I'm giving you a massage. It might not be usual, but it is adequate for your sedentary lifestyle. I can sense your muscles relaxing in any case, so I’ll take it a sign that you’re enjoying it.”  
  
He certainly is enjoying it, maybe a little too much. Not that he gets many massages, but this is an especially untouched place and it feels very good… The Squip moves further down and spreads Jeremy’s legs a little, so he can reach the full area of his thighs, and his hands and fingers in these places, strong but careful and precise, are doing much more than just relaxing his muscles. Grateful that it’s physically impossible to make eye contact with the Squip from this position, he grips the blanket beneath him and softly sighs as the supercomputer keeps working on his legs.  
  
“Now, for the front side,” the Squip says, and Jeremy pretends he didn’t hear it. He must have noticed his boner by now, he’s connected to his body after all, but even if he hasn’t he will definitely see it if he turns. Jeremy makes a vaguely unwilling sound when the Squip lightly taps his thigh, maybe he’ll save him the embarrassment of addressing it. “Turn around, Jeremy.”  
  
“Are you, uh, sure you--?”  
  
“I’m waiting.”  
  
Jeremy nervously does as he’s told, the Squip rising only enough to give him some space to turn. It’s impossible to contain a moan when the Squip sits on him again. He thinks of the practice session once more. The way the Squip kissed him, rolling his hips in his lap, purring instructions in his ear, straddling him the same way he is doing now. Jeremy wants it again. Would he…? He's been good lately, the Squip said so himself...  
  
“You’re hopeless,” the Squip says, staring coldly at him, and Jeremy truly must be because that makes his erection press against him even more obviously. “Really? Is there anything you are not turned on by, Jeremy?”  
  
“I d-don’t get turned on by everything!” Jeremy says, blushing furiously and covering his face with his hands. “I’m not asking you to, you don't need to do anything, c-can I just… just this once, please...”  
  
“No. We have a rule. And I’m going to sit here until you learn to control yourself.” The Squip says, sounding serious. He moves forward, so that he’s sitting more on his stomach than his crotch, but the movement gives Jeremy a little friction and he can’t help but groan and thrust his hips up a little. The Squip stays quiet and Jeremy bites his lip. At this point, even getting shocked would probably make him harder (the Squip must’ve reached that conclusion as well, for Jeremy can’t think of any other reason as to why he hasn’t done it yet).  
  
After what feels like an eternity (the Squip could be sitting absolutely still, weightless, but he doesn’t, why doesn’t he, why does this have to seem so real), he feels the Squip’s hand move up his chest, slowly, directly on his skin. It takes him every ounce of self control not to whimper, but he’s unable to suppress a shiver. “You… truly are at my mercy, aren’t you…?” the Squip says, voice uncharacteristically hesitating. At this, Jeremy dares to look up, and instead of a disgusted expression of judgement, he finds him looking sort of… curious? Fascinated, even. His fingertips reach Jeremy’s neck, then his chin, then his mouth. Jeremy parts his lips a little and gasps when the Squip brushes his thumb over them.  
  
The Squip suddenly gets up then, walks away, and Jeremy feels cold, even though the weight and warmth were never real. “I’ve changed my mind,” he says, “this situation will lead us nowhere.”  
  
“So I can do it?”  
  
“Absolutely not.” The Squip scowls from his spot by the window, arms crossed. “Let me help you readjust the mood: Imagine your dad walking in. Christine rejecting you. Your mother and her boyfriend having sex. Being naked in school. Car crashes. Losing a-”  
  
“Ugh, stop, I get it!” Jeremy says and he sits up, uncomfortably tight but not really in the mood anymore either. That had been completely unnecessary, especially the one about his mom. When he looks at the Squip again, he finds him gripping his arm, almost nervously. It seems strangely human. “Are you okay?”  
  
“Of course. I need to check for updates on my software. Please excuse me, I’ll be right back.”  
  
Jeremy watches as the Squip disappears from his vision. That was weird.  
  
For a moment he considers jerking off, but the mental image of his mom and her boyfriend is still in his mind and that just won’t do (he doesn’t even remember the guy’s face properly, he only saw him once, when he was looking up his mom on facebook, it was a picture of both of them at some bar in a beach and he’d closed the tab immediately). How long would it take to check for updates anyways? The Squip would just get back before Jeremy was finished and get angry. Angrier. He might he say he doesn’t feel emotions but there has to be something there.  
  
And the Squip was pleased with him earlier, Jeremy wishes he hadn’t ruined it… It was the Squip’s fault though, wasn’t it? If he'd just let Jeremy masturbate normally, he wouldn’t get turned on by a massage, even an exceptionally good one. Or maybe he would always be turned on, having someone so attractive touching him like that… Maybe that was his objective even, to make him feel good and then completely unsatisfied as some sort of punishment. But didn’t the Squip say he was doing well? His body isn't sore anymore but his mind's a mess.  
  
Jeremy puts his shirt back on and takes a deep breath. He should really get that essay started.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be sexy fun, but ended up with a lot more feelings than originally intended. (Also, rating went up for this chapter!)

 

_“I did not evaluate the situation correctly last time, but if you-”_

_“You made everything worse.” Jeremy interrups, head hurting but determined. Maybe the MDR is less effective due to its expiration date, maybe his squip really is defective and won’t stay shut down as it’s supposed to, but this is the fifth time the Squip had reactivated on his own since the play months ago, and at this point Jeremy is more exhausted than worried._

_“I’m a learning computer, I can do better if this time.” The Squip says, matter of factly, trying to display an authority he no longer has. “And you ended up with Christine, didn’t you? It wasn’t all terrible. Tell me your new goal and we can-”_

_“I’m drinking it again.” Jeremy gets up to get the bottle from the bottom of his closet, and at this gesture the Squip’s whole demeanor changes._

_“Don’t...!” comes Squip’s seemingly desperate voice. Jeremy turns to face him, and he can see him hesitating, thinks he can see fear in his eyes. “Let me stay, Jeremy. Please.”_

_“No.”_  


***  


They'd come a long way since then. There had been a few more reactivations, a random interval of weeks between them, until Jeremy, exhausted of the unpredictable surges of pain they brought along, decided to let him stay, on the condition to drop the old goal and that no new goals would ever be given. The Squip tried to argue that he needed an objective, that that was the whole point of his existence, but at the menace of the soda, he begrudgingly accepted.

Jeremy knows the situation is a risk (Michael does not approve), but he’d decided to trust the Squip to behave and, most of all, to trust himself. And it’s been working out so far. He can tell the Squip’s been making an effort to moderate his speech, to not to scrutinize every little thing Jeremy does or tell him the ‘best’ or ‘correct’ way to act. He’s even been avoiding replying to his thoughts unprompted so much, allowing Jeremy some more privacy in his own head. But on some days, the supercomputer’s frustration at not having a specific function is almost palpable, and Jeremy had started to feel sorry for him.

This is one of those days. Jeremy’s been trying to find a solution. There had to be a way to make the Squip feel useful for something more than tasks Jeremy could’ve also solved with his smartphone.

“Do you want to have sex?” he suddenly asks. The Squip, sitting on top of his desk, raises an eyebrow and stares down at him.

“Excuse me?”

“I, uh, I was wondering if you-”

“I know what the words mean,” the Squip says, with the kind of voice that announces nothing good. “Are you that desperate to get laid that you want to do it with something that only exists in your head and almost ruined your life?”

“No, that’s… that’s not it...” Jeremy looks at his notebook, embarrassed. He wouldn’t call it desperation, it’s just he didn’t get to do it with Christine before she broke up with him. (She said she wasn’t completely over Jake, which was terrible, but least they’d become actual friends, which was more than they were before. The Squip, surprisingly, hadn’t been an ass about it. He just stayed there, trying to distract him, and the fact that he couldn’t leave had even felt sort of comforting for Jeremy at the time.) But desperation, in any case, isn’t his biggest motivation. “I was just thinking you could, I don’t know, stress relief or something. You seemed kind of into it those other times that we… You know.”

“Are you seriously offering me pity sex?” the Squip asks with a glare. “And here I thought that if it ever came to that it would be the other way around.”

Jeremy feels himself get red with frustration. He wants to tell him to fuck off, but the words don’t come out. Whatever, he’s sure the Squip heard them anyways. “Just forget it,” he mumbles instead. It was a stupid idea anyways, the Squip’s better now but not that much better, Jeremy doesn’t know why he even bothered. He picks up his phone and takes it to bed. No notifications. He sighs. It’s not as if he's waiting for anything specific, he just wants something. Someone. Why was the Squip in such a bad mood anyways?

“I’m a computer, I don’t have mo--”

“Yes, you do, we’ve gotten over that.” Jeremy says, exasperated, and the Squip crosses his arms, turns his head the other way. _Great, he’s going to sulk now._ The Squip turns back to him and opens his mouth to say something but then closes it, like he’s having some sort of inner struggle, which Jeremy actively decides to ignore. He mindlessly scrolls through strangers’ posts, hoping for something funny or smart to get his attention, something he can send to Michael or even Christine, maybe, an excuse to start a conversation. So far no such luck.

After a while, the Squip comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. Jeremy doesn’t look up.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

“What?”

“You heard me the first time, I don’t need to repeat myself,” the Squip says, still a bit brusque, but when he sees Jeremy’s unimpressed expression he makes a pause and changes his voice to something more neutral. “Why do you want to have sex with me?”

“Are you asking so you can insult me again?”

“No. I want to know, Jeremy.”

“Just read my mind.”

“Your thoughts are confusing and I’d rather avoid misinterpreting them.” he says. Jeremy can’t tell if the tone is accusatory or not and so he keeps silent.  “It’s not. It was not my intention. Please talk to me, Jeremy.”

At that, he finally glances up. The Squip's expectant and slightly apologetic face seems honest enough and Jeremy sighs, tries to find the words again. “It’s… The things you used to do, before. All that teasing, the way you looked at me, being all seductive and stuff…” It sounds worse when he says it out loud, but he has to keep speaking before he loses courage. “I thought we could both, I don’t know, g-get something out of it. You get to order me around and I get to get laid,” he finishes in a much faster pace, choosing to keep looking at the screen instead of directly at him.

The Squip seems pensive for a while. “And this is something you want, to follow my commands?”

“Yeah,” Jeremy says, a little ashamed, but trying not to think too deeply about it. And since it’s better not to leave anything ambiguous with squips, or at least with this one, he quickly adds “In this situation, I mean. And as long as, you uh, you let me come.”

There’s silence as the Squip considers the proposal and Jeremy feels stupider as the seconds go by, still unable to look him in the face. He doesn’t take it back, though. “Alright, Jeremy. Put your phone away.”

“Oh, you want t-to do it right now?” Jeremy asks, wide eyed. The Squip looks slightly disappointed for a fraction of a second, so Jeremy immediately sits up and throws his phone into the beanbag nearby.  “I mean, yeah, sure, we can do it now…!”

A few moments go by, as they awkwardly stare at each other, and then the Squip moves closer, and Jeremy shifts a little under his gaze. He cups Jeremy’s face, making him look him in the eye and pauses, a rare uncertainty to his expression, as if giving him time to pull away, time to realize this is a mistake. Jeremy leans in and closes the distance. The Squip's lips are as soft as he remembers.

 _I want it_ , Jeremy thinks at him, and the supercomputer finally kisses him back, touch no longer hesitating. He slowly kisses his lips, his jaw, his neck, and then he comes back up, bites Jeremy’s lip, softly and then a little harder. Jeremy opens his mouth, and lets out a pleased sound as he feels the Squip’s tongue on his, and his hand softly grasping the hair at the back of his head.

They kiss for a while and when the Squip pulls away Jeremy notices the string of saliva connecting them, the light blush on his cheeks, his eyes darker than usual, wanting. A small part of him wonders if these little details are intentional or if they happen naturally at this point (if anything about the Squip can be considered natural), but most of him just wants to stare in awe. He’s not allowed to do it for long though, for in a matter of seconds the Squip is kissing him again, hand squeezing Jeremy’s thigh. Jeremy tentatively places his hand on the Squip’s waist, pulling him in, and he takes this as an invitation to sit on Jeremy’s lap, knees on the bed on each side of him.

“Touch me, Jeremy,” he says, but doesn’t wait for him to do it, he simply grabs Jeremy’s hands and brings them to his chest, dragging them slowly down to rest at his hips. Jeremy moves his hands further down and pulls him closer, and the Squip softly rocks his hips against him, making him moan. “Take this off,” the Squip whispers, fingers digging into Jeremy’s shirt, and he feels a shiver down his spine as the Squip’s lips brush his ear.

Once his shirt is gone, the Squip pushes him down to the bed. He places his hand on Jeremy’s chest, slowly bringing it upwards until his fingertips touch the base of his neck and Jeremy holds a breath.

“Close your eyes.”

Now that he thinks about it, until today, the Squip has barely touched him since the play. He used to do it a lot. Touches to his shoulders and to his chin, fixing his posture, leading him by the waist, casual touches to his arms. He’d sit on his lap sometimes, silence him with fingers on his lips, ruffle his hair when he was pleased with something Jeremy did.

He missed it.

He feels the Squip nibbling at his neck, hand on Jeremy's chest, teasing his nipples, and Jeremy bites his lip in hope of hiding the weird sounds he’s sure to let out. The hand moves down his belly, firm and slow, and then the Squip is palming his crotch, and Jeremy gasps and thrusts his hips up in surprise. When he opens his eyes, he’s surprised to find the Squip is nude on top of him, a playful smile on his lips.

“Do you like what you see?”

“Y-yeah…” Jeremy mumbles, drinking in the sight. He’d fantasized about it before, but had never actually seen him like this.

“Then strip and hold still.”

The Squip moves away just long enough for Jeremy to take off the rest of his clothes, and straddles him once he’s back to lying on the bed. Jeremy looks up, nervous and aroused, digs his fingers on the bed beneath him. They’re really doing this.

“Yes, Jeremy. But if you’ve changed your mind, we don-”

“I haven’t!” Jeremy quickly interrupts. The Squip blinks once and smiles.

He adjusts his position and reaches behind to touch Jeremy’s erection with his fingers, never breaking eye contact and Jeremy gasps. He strokes him, teasingly light and slow and then a little more seriously, but when Jeremy starts rocking his hips, he immediately stops. Jeremy looks up confused and the Squip smiles mischievously. “I told you to be still, Jeremy.”

He repeats this a few more times, always stopping when Jeremy moves, sometimes leaning down for a kiss, dragging his hands up Jeremy’s torso until he brings one of them back to where he needs them the most. Jeremy feels himself get increasingly harder and with less ability to restrain himself. “Squip, please…!” he cries out, voice breaking a little and breathing quick, and this finally seems to have an effect.

“Don’t worry, Jeremy, I’ll let you finish. But don’t do it until I tell you to.” Squip says, waiting for Jeremy to nod before he does anything else. Then he raises himself up and then down on Jeremy’s erection, slowly taking him in. Jeremy moans loudly at the feeling, he agreed to come when Squip tells him, but he can't make any promises on that. “Jeremy.”

“I’ll.. try…” he says, voice sounding ridiculously needy even to his own ears. The Squip seems to deem it good enough, for he blissfully starts moving and Jeremy is finally allowed to move as well.

“Slow down, Jeremy, this is not a race,” the Squip says with a smirk, riding him impossibly slow, and Jeremy tries to contain his desperate thrusts, bringing up an arm to cover his face. He’s been teased too much and he’s too eager, he doubts he can last as long as the Squip wants him to, it’s already a miracle he’s lasted this long… “I’m sure you can. And don't hide, I want to see you.” Jeremy does as he’s told, not sure why he would want that. He’s not sure what to do with his hands anymore so the Squip brings them to his thighs.

The Squip calls his name, tells him how to move, and it’s easy to lose himself in his voice, it always was. He doesn't want to think anymore, only to feel. When the Squip speeds up the rhythm, Jeremy groans, digs his fingers into his thighs, and the Squip moans a little too. It’s a new sound and it’s like music to his ears.

“Jeremy,” the Squip calls, voice thick and heavy, “come for me.” 

And Jeremy does. He comes inside Squip with a loud moan, thrusting slowly until he feels completely spent. Only then does the Squip pull away and lays down next to him, observing Jeremy savor the orgasm and catching his breath.

When Jeremy notices the Squip has turned around and is about to leave, he holds him down with his arm, hand resting on his belly. “Stay here.” Jeremy whispers into his ear. There’s no point in pretending he has anything to do or anywhere else to be. The Squip stops moving but doesn’t turn to face him, so Jeremy pulls him closer. He almost lets go, but then the Squip seems to relax, and even adjust his position to better fit against him. “Did you like it? Squip.”

“Yes.”

“What did you like about it?” Jeremy asks, a bit shy. He knows the Squip likes control, that’s how he convinced him in the first place, but he wonders how he feels about the sex itself. Did it feel good to him? Did he even feel it at all?

“I have no interest in answering that question.”

“You should if you want it to happen again.” The Squip makes an outraged noise and Jeremy snorts a laugh. “Didn't you always tell me to ‘assert my dominance’?”

“Not over _me_.” Jeremy smiles and kisses the back of his neck tentatively. The Squip doesn't reject it but after a few more kisses he suddenly turns around, the intensity of his gaze making Jeremy’s newly found dominance hide its tail between its legs. “I like touching you, Jeremy. I like teasing you and observing your reactions. You’re very sensitive both to physical and verbal provocations, which lead you to make ridiculous noises and blush very easily.” The Squip brings his hand to Jeremy’s now red face and smirks. “It’s satisfying.”

That's not all that Jeremy wanted to know but it’s good enough for now, it makes his heart flutter a little. He knows he’s setting himself up for potential future disaster but he still continues, eye contact with the Squip flickering. “You can, hm, you can touch me more. Out-outside of this, like you used to… Why did you stop, anyways?”

It’s the Squip’s turn to look surprised now, but he quickly hides it. “I assumed you didn’t want anything to be how it was before the play.”

Oh. That made sense. Every time he thinks about those few months, long enough to actually feel them, he has to fight against an anchor that menaces to drag him down. The Squip starts pulling away then, but Jeremy grabs his hand, not really thinking about it. “I’m not going to drink it again,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The Squip’s expression is bittersweet as he looks at their intertwined fingers. “Why not?”

Jeremy shrugs awkwardly. Because the Squip's better now and he’s gotten attached? Because although he tried to take over the school (or the world? how far would he go?) he did it for Jeremy and that’s both horrible and kind of flattering in a way? He doesn't know, he doesn’t care to know, and he could never explain it to anyone even if he did. They just had sex, the Squip said he likes to touch him, Jeremy likes being touched too. That works, doesn’t it?  And this is starting to feel weird now, he doesn't want it to be weird, so he lets go of the Squip's hand and buries his face in his chest instead. “I just don't. Can we leave it at that?”

There is a pause and then Jeremy feels fingers going through his hair, gently petting him. “If that’s what you want.” The Squip's voice is soft when he speaks and Jeremy closes his eyes, relaxed and relieved.

It’s not so lonely with the Squip around.

 

 


End file.
